Sprouting Season

I had a high on Saturday, and it surprises me that I have not recorded such thoughts to remember. As I fail miserably at keepin a journal, for I have grown far too attached to typing in order to hold a pencil in my hand (I do miss the feeling of a firm pencil in my grasp from time to time though) I must needs record it here to where I might perchance upon this memory again when I am in need of inspiration. Here, my online journal, a public thing, but my thoughts were never meant to be kept to myself. Why hide who I am from the world? I fear not what the world thinks of me, but rather relish the chance that I might leave a mark upon it and vice-versa. Ah, but enough of that, the memory if you will.

I had always thought myself of a rather gentleman like figure, and if I might not be a perfect example of one, I do hope someday to achieve such an attitude even if lacking the uniform image. It so happened that I was at a social dinner, a collection of people near my age group, when I just so happened to go over and talk to some familiar faces when I ended up speaking in such a manner to a young woman. We had some fun rapport (I felt as much anyways) and I felt a part of me just open up. For many years now I've been longing for the time when I would allow myself to speak more freely and hoped that which I was freeing was of a gentleman nature, and I believe it was. I found an accomplice in the sister of one of my friends (Trent being the friend, Aimee being his sister and my accomplice) in securing the number of this girl whom I was so joyfully engaging with just moments earlier. She is aware of this fact, and I do so wonder what I can do with this number.

You have to understand my mindset. Engaging with someone whom I am very unfamiliar with is as much fun as I can possibly have. That person's mind is a mystery to me, and I want to peer behind the curtain and see what wonderful things await behind there, for all thoughts are wonderful are they not? Well, I realize that is debatable, but still, I wish to bring about the point that the unknown is a most wonderful thing to dive into. As such, a new acquaintance has me in a rather high mood, such highs that most people must get off of substance abuse I manage to find in human beings (just to show how much healthier my addictions are for those who are skeptical of me). Anyways, here I am with this little path to a new road in the palm of my hand. As always, I pray to God that I might venture my way through this properly and be led to where I ought to be led, and not allow the whims and thoughts of others to corrupt such plans as I have. My desires are to interact and enjoy getting to know a person, if I may, as it pends very much on her desires which I must respect at all costs.

So what purpose is this entry? I'm recording nothing more than the thrill I had of being freed of my usual bonds and being able to be myself. I record this moment as a reminder that the man inside me is indeed good and has been, and to never give up or think that such a man within me exists. Also, an encouragement for me in the future to constantly seek people out. Such wonders lie within the minds of others, and they encourage growth within me and I might offer something to them. But also, a reminder not to look at people as puzzles to unlock. The unknown is interesting, but the familiar provides such a wonderful home that its difficult to leave, and finding familiarity within people is a feeling of home that is to be treasured high above all. I'll remember this day I came by her number, and hopefully memory of a date will soon follow this. Whatever comes, remember the thrill. Sprout and grow.