Mock Turtle Soup

Reluctancy is such an undermining process. Has there ever been a moment when you see someone that you really desire to talk to, and yet that part of you is needing more time to drum up the courage to do so? You sit there and decide you'll feel better if you think of what to say, but then you begin on that process and start worrying about what they'll say back to you. Will it inconvenience them? Do you look pathetic doing so? There's this image that we want to sustain, that perfect image that we feel if we don't portray correctly then it has no prayer of happening. We imagine our own defeat before we even have the chance to fight.

I'll admit, I've backed myself down and then justify that it didn't mean anything, that if it was meant to be it would have worked out somehow. It's a load of crap. I know it, you know it, we all knwo it. Opportunity doesn't grab us, we grab hold of it and hang on for dear life. So, here's a promise to myself to act upon the next opportunity that I see rather than talk myself down. Here's to finding more stories to fill my life with and more people to extend to.