Perfection Is Not a Solo Act

To all women in the world: I'm sorry. It's a rather saddening thing to see the standards of perfection set aside by society that women are forced to live up to if they are ever to be "happy" in life. Society demands a perfect body image and also dictates the way a woman should handle herself and act. When I see the societal demands upon them, I thank the Lord that I am a man, but it would be wrong for me to think that I pulled the long straw and women pulled the short, believing that you get what you get and that's all there is. True, in the world, you do get what you get because that is how we have taught ourselves to think. You're given beauty or you aren't, which means you are either screwed or you're lucky. Middle boundary? By definition, there isn't one, unless you count the one that society has made. If you lack the looks society demands, they have offered you a way to get them, and society strongly suggests that you take these offers. Friends, family, how sad is it that faces both familiar and strange force women to obey such arbitrary laws. As a man, I feel lucky, but to avoid being the "average" man, who merely thinks that society ought to be obeyed, I do send my sympathies to women and encourage them that not all care for societies standards. Be happy with yourselves. And this may sound like feigned affection coming from me (a good looking guy by society's standards.. or so I've been told) but maybe hearing how the stereotypical guy hates the stereotypical ways of society might give you some comfort that more of us exist. Nice guys do exist, and there is always the right guy for the right girl.

Just for fun, allow me to explain who my "dream" girl would be. I say this reluctantly because I'm pretty sure the moment I define her, I'm going to fall for someone who is an exact opposite. Still, I venture away from societal thoughts to a degree. How so? Here so:

The perfect girl for me will have a lovely face. Call me out on being superficial, but I guarantee you there is not a person alive that would date/marry a person whose face they found to be atrocious. I love the simple and plain beauty above the modelesque type (odd yes?). Soft and cheerful faces are indeed lovely, but I also enjoy a women whose face has shape and form, a face that is striking and lingers in my mind. A beautiful smile would be spectacular, and I'm very fond of dark hair and dark eyes. I'm not dissing on blondes, as I am one you see, but blonde is my least favorite hair color. I like brown (any shade) or black the most, although my favorite would probably be crimson red (light red is lower than blonde on the list). It would be great for the eyes to match. Brown/Black eyes with Brown/Black hair is a great match, or that lovely crimson headed girl with green eyes is a perfect combination. Blonde hair and blue eyes is nice too, but again, lower on the list.

Now for some touchy bits, and I hope I'm not too risque in saying these things. I'm blunt, I admit, so please bear with me if I sound a bit picky. I prefer girls with an athletic build, namely because I enjoy recreation and sports and would like my girl to enjoy these things as well and be able to participate. I am a stickler for this, typical I know, but as risque as the next statement will be, it'll probably be more shocking: A's and B's are better than C's and D's. I really hope you know what I mean cause I don't want to explain what that statement means, but I will explain what it means to me. I do not like women with large busts, and I especially hate it when they are falling out of their clothes. Honestly, I DO NOT want to see it so please save it for somebody who does. Sadly most of my fellow men would enjoy the view, but please, do not show off this much of yourself to me, it's disgusting and distracting in every possible way. Clothes that cover are the best, I would rather gaze into your eyes than elsewhere, but if someone creates a giant sign that says "LOOK" on it, it's hard to look away right? That's what you do when you dress so poorly. I know where the gold is, and it's all above the shoulders, and it would be of great service to me, helping me be a more respectable man, if you would help me by dressing accordingly. Thank you.

As I ran Cross Country and Track, girls with nice legs are a bonus, but again, it's not like I'm going to be looking down there so it's more of just a side note. I prefer fair skin to tanned skin, and the more raw beauty the better. Please don't overdue with makeup, in fact, you really don't need to bother. I know women hate to hear that for the most, and while I find you absolutely beautiful without it, it's hard to go into public without it, I understand. It's more of me just wanting you to know that it's the real you I've got my eye on, not the inch of make up some girls put on their faces.

Now that I've spelled out the shallow reasons (physical appearance) of my dream girl, let's get onto the real meat. Any of the following easily rule out anything stated above. My most vivid dream is to find someone who really understands me and who I'm happy with. If I have that, there's nothing else required.

I want a girl with passion. A girl I knew had an obsession with Smallville, a show which I didn't much care for, but I loved to hear her talk about it. The mention of Smallville would cause her face to light up, and she could talk about it for hours on end. She had such a passion for it that it made me smile, and though I didn't care much for the show when I watched it, I was enchanted by her passion. I could listen to her talk about it for hours and never grow tired of the giddiness her eyes and voice, and I've come to realize that I need someone who has a passion for something, anything really. People who have that kind of passion about anything in life are truly amazing people, and this is one of the top priorities on my list.

People say opposites attract, others dispute it. More oft than not, similarities attract, and as such I do want my passions and her passions to be similar. BUT we also have to be different enough that we aren't clones. I want a girl that has enough differences that she'll drag me out of my comfort zone and push me into trying new things (and vice versa). Complacency is so boring, and is ultimately a relationship killer. Whatever it is... salsa dancing or whatever, even if I always feel self conscious when I do these activities, I want a girl that will keep dragging me to them and always inspire me to broaden my horizons. She needs to be adaptable and want to broaden her horizons too. A close minded woman is not the girl for me. EVER.

There are so many personality characteristics one could list, good things girls could have, but she should also be human and have flaws, and be okay with her flaws. Someone who is aware that they aren't perfect is truly perfect. I hate to see some girls cater to their guys, trying to fulfill his every whim and desire to be that "perfect" girl. Perfection isn't a solo act sweetheart, it takes two to tackle that. She needs to be a team player, and very open. I DO want to hear it all, I do, I do, I do! Everything you have to say is important to me, please don't hold anything back. We're all entitled to a few secrets, but I hope she never thinks "oh, he'll think it's stupid" and say nothing. I'd rather hear it and get a better understanding of her than be dating a fraud. Please, even tell me if you hate the movie we went to, even after I say I love it. Relationships don't last unless you learn to break down the individuals and build yourselves closer together. Personality flaws? By societal standards, they may be, but they're what makes you, well, you.

Please, please, no pet names. Here's the deal. There are so many wonderful adjectives to describe people with, praises that can last forever, and there are even some feelings that can't be expressed by words... or can they? There is one word that sums up every loving feeling I hold towards you: you're name. I'm not saying your name as a formality, when I say your name, I'm saying everything you are to me. That doesn't mean I'll never compliment you, I will for sure, but I hope you realize that when I call you "Jenny" (just thought a J name would be nice, you know my fetish with them!) instead of "babe" (I REALLY detest that pet name, I will NEVER call a girl that) it is a compliment.

Above all, I want someone who gets me, someone that I can just click with. Someone who believes in fairy tales and will push me to being the best man I can be. I dream big, and I'm a stubborn mule, plus many other things. They can be bad qualities, but I try my best to utilize them for good. Mostly, I just want someone that I can feel comfortable around at all times. No pressure, no pain, just... good feelings.

The world may constantly spit in your face and tell you: "You're nothing if not beautiful." but just know that there is beauty in all things, and different people will find different things beautiful. I could go on for days about the things that make me hate the "beauty" most people speak of (I mean.. come on, Megan Foxx is NOT an example of beauty... her face is weird) but I think that's enough ranting for now. Be happy, and open your mind to the possibilities and opportunities that the world has to offer. The stereotypical best looking person might not be the best for you. Learn to listen with your heart, and (as they say in those jewelry commercials) keep it open, and love will find its way in. If there is one thing I can say I need in a girl.. it's that click. The "click" overshadows all other things, because deep inside your chest is a little organ saying "Yep, that one." Argue as you might, somehow, you just know. Don't give up on your dreams, but don't become so focused on them that you ignore the promptings around you. You never know when the right one will walk into your life, or if they are already in it, but the more you open your mind and expand your horizons, the better life you will lead and the happier you will be.

The World Ends With You. Remember that. You determine how large your world is and who is inside it, and what it takes for you to be happy in that world. Choose your own happiness, don't let others dictate it to you. Remember, perfection does not exist in one individual, but it can within the bond between two. Are these the rantings of a poor sap, a hopelessly romantic nice guy that hopes his kind actions will lead him to greater happiness? You betcha. But when all else has failed, why not dream?

Perfection is not a solo act... nor is happiness.

But we have the power to decide: happiness or misery. If you're not getting what you want, change it... keep searching, and never give up.

Dream big. Dream loud. Dream right.