As of late I keep feeling that writing has almost become an obligation with me. Honestly, it feels like all of the fun has been ripped out of the writing process. Where is the love? I'm certainly not feeling it anymore, and it makes me wonder why.
I've been sitting on a story that would be a great piece of literature to be honest, and I love literature and I would LOVE for something I write to be placed in the literature section, but you know, I really don't have fun writing literature. To be confined within certain rules, to try and make some controversial statement, it really isn't me. I'm more than capable of controversy, but it's gotta come naturally. I feel as though I've been trying way too hard lately, and I don't like the way that it feels.
I just want to find my own style and be my own author. I don't care if the writing authorities don't think I write good books, these books are going to be a part of me and I think that is what is the most important aspect of all. I have to have FUN or else what is the point? The story I'm writing right now, it's not an expression of myself, it's me trying to fit in with all of those big names. Yes, I think this story idea would get a lot of praise among the older and more literary defined crowd, but as much as that means to me it's not really who I am. Yeah, I love literature, I love learning about the old styles and reading the old authors, but I love to question them as well.
I don't bow down and regard them as great, I think authors have gotten better since that time. People always say "But they were the first!" as a defense that they were the greatest, but guess what? We've gotten BETTER! It's the quality that defines a good writer and a good book, not who came first. That's like saying a chicken is more important than an egg (although we still don't know which came first). No, I think I just want to write as who I am and I don't want to be caught up in trying to be the best anymore, I just want to be myself.
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