Sara + Megan: We have dates afterwards, so we're bringing out stuff with us so that we can get ready there, that way we won't be all dirty and sweaty.
Me (to Gibbs): Strange, I thought guys liked their girls sweaty.
-----
Brooke: I love old people. Whenever they talk, they just have to tell you their life story.
Me: Hmm, kinda like women.
-----
(First year of cross country memories)
Kenna: What happened to you guys?
Dakota and Me: We got attacked by a wasp nest.
Kenna: ... No, really, what happened?
-----
(After I fell on the trail during one of our mountain runs and got back up)
Dakota (to Me): I have to admit, that was kinda impressive.
-----
(Me to Preston as he was working out on the incline press)
Me: Careful not to strain anything... like your pride.
-----
(Preston's random outburst during a long run)
Preston: You know what? If I was a girl, I'd be such a slut.
-----
(There were two guys in prom dresses and wigs at the State cross country meet.)
Colton: Hey Jared, why don't you go flirt with those girls over there?
Me: Have Preston do it. We all know he'd flirt with a tree if he knew he could get any action.
-----
(When Dakota was talking about the girl he likes)
Dakota: She's on the Taylorsville softball team.
Rob: Ah, so she's a lesbian?
Dakota: .... burn
-----
(More track meet memories)
Rob: Hey Jared, you like my new sweats?
Me: Nice, who did you steal them from?
Rob: You.
Me: WHAT?
-----
(Just one from one of my best friends ever)
Missy: Sorry, I don't like white guys.
-----
(Thanksgiving trip to St. George while we were playing Mario Party at 4:30 in the morning)
Gina: Do you think he's asleep?
Nolan: ... Christmas, Christmas, Christmas
Me: I'd say he is.
-----
(Tyson and I dissing on Twilight while we were driving somewhere)
Tyson: Abbey (his girlfriend) says that I remind her of Edward.
(Watch some cars pass us)
Tyson: I really like that car.
Me: Which one?
Tyson: The Volvo. Except, I'd pick a different color for it.
Me: Like silver?
Tyson: Yeah! Wait, what's so funny?
-----
Me: Ring, ring.
Dakota: Hello.
Me: Hey, it's Jared.
Dakota: Oh hi Jared, how're you doing?
Me: Good, good. How are you doing?
Dakota: Oh I'm doing just great!
Me: Good, good. So listen, some friends and I were going out this weekend, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me?
Dakota: Sure, that sounds like fun.
Me: Sweet! So I'll pick you up around seven okay?
Dakota: Okay, sounds great.
Dakota and Me: Bye.
(we both turn to Daniel after putting down our hand-phones)
Dakota: So, did you get all of that?
Daniel: Well sure, but what if she tells me no?
(we both sigh)
Dakota (to me): Okay, you have to be Michon this time. (pretends hand is a phone) Ring, ring.
-----
(Another random moment)
Dakota: Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me.
-----
(Track moment)
Trent and Me: AH!!! CATERPILLARS!!!!!
-----
(It's funnier if you actually don't know the entire conversation)
Me (to Kallie): ... with a FORK? How do you even do that?
-----
Dakota: Hmm, you know, I really like the way I say that.
-----
(While running past an elementary school one time)
Little girl (to Allyn): Ew! Put a shirt on!
-----
(Just a few Junior Prom memories)
Michael (getting out of his car): I can't believe you had to turn into all three of the Riverview parking lots.
Me: I can't believe you followed me into two of them.
-----
(Best math class ever)
Me: I'm 1/3 Asian you know.
Kenna: ... Wait, don't you need three people for that?
-----
(I get a little high off of certain fruit smoothies)
Me (talking into a cup to deepen my voice): Trent, I am your father! Bwa... kah, bwa... kah. (laughing)
Trent (referring to my smoothie): What did they put in that?
-----
Gibbs: That's it! Flag pole, right now!
Me: Fine! You lead the way!
(we march out to the flag pole)
Me: So, like, now what?
Gibbs: Hm, the dance company is watching. Pretend to beat me up.
Me: Okay
(we walk back in, I'm helping Gibbs like he can't walk on his own as we pass by the dance company)
Gibbs: Why, why did you do it?
Me: You brought this on yourself Gibbs, that was the last straw!
-----
(A memories after falling on my butt while puddle jumping in Murray Park)
Dakota: Dude, are you alright?
Me: Uh... depends. Did the entire girl's soccer team just see that?
Dakota (looks): Yup, I think they did.
Me: ... Not alright.
-----
(St. Patrick's Day Race, one of my few vain moments)
Me: I would've run faster, but I sort of lost all motivation after that girl (I point) passed me by.
Gibbs (looks at her): I approve.
-----
(Inside of Coldstone)
Allyn: Man, can you believe Dakota (who went to sit with a bunch of girls we didn't know)?
Me: What can I say? Dakota's a player.
Dakota (as the girls giggle): WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?
Me: Did I just say that outloud?
-----
(How I found out that Trent and Nikki were going out)
Me: Yeah, I think we (Trent, Nikki, and I) are going to go see that Step Up 2 movie this weekend.
Dakota: Have fun chaperoning.
Me: Uh, what?
Dakota: Didn't you know? They're like dating now.
Me: .... THEY'RE WHAT?
-----
(When Rob put me in charge of what ab workouts for the day)
Sara: Jared, I really think you need to do these workouts too. I'm worried about you, I think you're getting fat.
Me: Yeah, insulting me isn't going to make the workout any shorter.
Sara: I love you.
Me: Neither will flattery.
-----
(Excerpt from the Book of Ryan)
BoR (referring to Ashley Evans): And she had the prettiest eyes I did ever see.
-----
Kenna (referring to Ashley Evans): I think she smiles when she's sleeping.
-----
(At a state cross country meet we got to overheard some guy from the other team giving his team a prep talk)
Guy: Now remember, this is state, this is what we've been practicing for all year long. You go out there and you push it as hard as you can. If you give anything less than your best, you're cheating yourself.
Our team: ....
Preston: Yeah! (mockingly) That's right. I want each of you guys to freakin' push your butts out there. I want you... yeah you, to beat ME, or else you're off of the team. Win or I'm gonna kick yo' butt. Now come on, le's win this shit!
-----
(During a workout)
Adam: Dang, we still have like three reps left. I feel like I'm gonna...
(I walk over to the side of the track and throw up)
Adam: You okay?
Me: Yup, three reps left. Let's go.
No comments:
Post a Comment