Saturday, February 20, 2010

Fresh off the Press


The first amendment of the constitution of the United States declares a freedom of the press, perhaps one of the most powerful freedoms that we are able to experience in our country. I was on the journalism staff for three years on high school, a very mellow experience compared to the actual job of being a journalist, and by watching and hearing about journalists I grew to appreciate the men and women that serve to protect our country by keeping the citizens informed. They put their necks on the line each day, both in literal and figurative ways. Some stories call for them to act in spite of their safety while others ask for them to risk their name, their credibility, and their jobs just so that they can bring to us the newspaper with one thing: the truth.


I'm not a fan of the televised news because I feel that they are the people responsible for destroying the journalist's good name. They take whatever they can and twist whatever they can for television in order to sell, it's all about the publicity to them. My plea would be for people to remember those whose names are not well known to us, the journalists that churn out the local newspapers and are focused on telling the truth. Their jobs are based on credibility, and they take risks in order to keep the public informed on the truth. We often show our respect and appreciation for our elected officials and our troops, but I want to take a moment to pay my respects to those that fight on a different front. All that it takes for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing, and good men can't do anything if they don't know that evil is at work. Journalists keep us informed and empower the good men to take charge and keep evil at bay.


Next time you pick up a newspaper with another boring story, just before you toss it aside think about the person that works hard day in and day out just to bring you that story so that you can be aware of what is going on around you.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Three Theban Plays

Three Dreams


Over the past few nights I've had some rather peculiar dreams that I feel I should record for future use. My last dream turned into a nice short story, so perhaps I can preserve these dreams until I know what more to do with them.

The first dream I had was two nights ago. This dream was very much like Suzanne Collins' Hunger Games. I was situated within a large city along with others (most notable being my friend Tyson, Celeste Huffaker, and Annie Clawson as people that I actually recognize) and, as in the book, we are all forced to essentially fight the other teams to the death. There isn't much to say as the dream was short, but I did glimpse a few things. We were at a place that looked very much like Murray High School, except it was a business building and while much taller in the center, the rest of the building was no more than two stories high. It was here that I was standing beside Tyson (I think) and then there were two guys I don't recognize standing a distance away with tommy guns in their hands. One looked like the guy off of Prison Break, the cop with the reddish hair (he's also on Hitch) and the other was a man that was African American, and the two were dressed like business men. Two stories up was Celeste and Annie looking down on us. This is where the dream gets strange. First of all, none of us attack each other at this point, but we mutually agree to kill each other tomorrow. Then, I'm suddenly talking to Celeste on mutual grounds because apparently I'm paired with Annie for some reason. Since she and Annie are friends, she wants to switch me because she wants to make sure Annie is safe and is certain I won't do a good enough job protecting her. I agree to this, but somehow it doesn't happen. I'm waking up in some hut with Annie still as my partner. I recall that we meet up with the other four at that building and we all enter the elevator together. I get off with Annie at some level, and that's when the two nameless men pull out weapons and threaten to kill everyone there unless they promise to help capture me (I'm obviously the most wanted to be dead). They pulled out their guns and begin to kill everyone, but then suddenly I'm back in that little hut with Annie and there's Celeste, talking to me telepathically, saying that something bad will happen unless I trade her places... and then I awake.

The second dream was the most peculiar. A girl I'm very unfamiliar with was in this dream, her name being Natalie White, a friend of my friend Dianne Blocker. This dream takes place at my grandparents house in rather gloomy weather when its raining. Natalie had a relative that lives next door to my grandparents, and so we get to talking next to my grandpa's old trailer, and Natalie, being an animal lover, knows of some animal that needs her help. We go behind my grandparents' house and jump over the fence to the field that slopes down the back of their home. I can't remember the conversation that took place, but I end up walking back to my car and falling asleep/sitting in it for over two hours as I think about Natalie. I can't remember the thoughts precisely, but I am inspired to race back to where we were earlier. Natalie is caught in the fence and there's some black bear down the path. I help Natalie get untangled and we both lay flat on the ground, my arm over her protectively, as the bear and her cub walk by us. The bear growls, but as we sink lower it decides to just leave us alone. Apparently this begins a wonderfuly little relationship between Natalie and myself, though it somewhat odd. The rainy, gray skies stay the same the entire dream, and so our intimate talks (as that is the only real affection we show in our dream is through our words) are quiet to suit the surrounding. Anyhow, some time apparently passes and I'm staring at the scene of a distressed Natalie with tears in her eyes calling me out on abandoning her. There I am with no sense of remorse and just excusing myself from ever being with her. At least, I believe its supposed to be me, but its hard to say. The individual that would be me is nothing like me, the face is entirely different, and yet it is me she is addressing. This gave a rather peculiar perspective to me, because the man she was angry at looked like a villainous man by all means, and leaves a lot to think of. Anyways, the dream ends with that argument.

The last dream I had was a gray sky morning with light rain. I had heard that Rob, one of my former cross country coaches, was heading up a run that day and so I put on my old shoes and get to running. I run down my street of 7th west to the first corner and then turn down into my neighborhood. This leads me into a rather old European type neighborhood some how (think England) with large buildings that slope the horizons. It's raining harder now, and so I continue to run into a large building, somewhat like a factory, where I find a number of familiar faces. Though not on the team, I see Carlie Jones in there stretching for a run, and a number of other cross country runners dressed for a run and stretching. The ones that I can remember are Megan Ririe and Sara Evans, and also Zack Battenfield. There were at least seven others, but their faces weren't very visible in the dark room. I speak to them briefly but feel as though I need to keep on running, and I encourage them to do the same. They say that they are perfectly safe and have nothing to worry, but I keep going. I run to the window, open it, and jump out onto a rooftop. Clambering up it, I continue to run over buildings with this odd feeling that some dark figure is watching me, and I can even hear a sinister laughter, but that is all there is to the dream.

So here they are, three very peculiar dreams that I want to do something with, but I'm a little too focused on my book at the moment to do anything about them now. Here they are though, recorded, and hopefully they'll lead to some more inspiration.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

And on the Third Day



"Let It Die"
By: Three Days Grace

We had fire in our eyes
In the beginning I
Never felt so alive
In the beginning you
You blame me but
It's not fair when you say that I didn't try
I just don't want to hear it anymore

I swear I never meant to let it die
I just don't care about you anymore
It's not fair when you say that I didn't try
I just don't care about you anymore

We had time on our side
In the beginning we
We had nothing to hide
In the beginning you
You blame me but
It's not fair when you say that I didn't try
I just don't want to hear it anymore

I swear I never meant to let it die
I just don't care about you anymore
It's not fair when you say that I didn't try
I just don't care about you anymore

You say that I didn't try
You say that I didn't try
You say that I didn't try

I swear I never meant to let it die
I just don't care about you anymore
It's not fair when you say that I didn't try
I just don't care about you anymore
I just don't care about you anymore
I just don't care about you anymore
I just don't care about you anymore
I just don't care about you anymore

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The "If"

I think that everyone has one moment (or more) in life where they look back and wonder how things could have been different? I'm not saying the lengths of "If I was born back ______" but more like "If I had only said 'hello'" or something of the sort, something that would've been within our power to change. I'm not admitting to making any regrets, as I enjoy my life the way it is, but there are times when I wonder whether a failed attempt or a wrong decision may have cost me.

Right now I'm looking less at "If I'd only done that" to "can I swap a few things around?" Not clearly said, but it's more like this. Every now and then there are some very good friends of mine that drive me up the wall. ABSOLUTELY. NUTS. I turn my eyes and look at other smiling faces that I am acquainted with but not conjoined to as I am to the friends I possess and wonder "what if that person had been my friend instead of this person?" There are a few moments where I'd be willing to swap a friend for someone else.


I'm not saying that anyone else would be problem free, everyone has their problems and as friends you come together to help them. My frustration stems from the fact that those friends that have been talking my ears off--or more realisitically to the point that I want to tear my ears off--ask for advice and then... they ignore it completely. Once upon my time I thought myself to be the most stubborn amongst my friends, but I have suddenly realized that I'm losing that race to many of them. Stubborn and unwilling to admit to any faults, that sort of arrogance and pride comes at a price. Drama. Trial. Yes, this is the reason I wish to swap a few people. I'll take whatever drama might come with them so long as they are willing to admit that they are wrong!

Is it so bad to be wrong? You learn much more from failure than from victory, and when you are wrong you learn much as well. Why are people so afraid to learn? I realize that admitting you're wrong is hard, I too have some troubles with it, but I have seen the growth I gain when I bow my head to it and ultimately it makes me happier. The world just seems to want to linger in ignorance and learn nothing, and that is what drives me nuts.

While perhaps I should be using my time to show people that being wrong isn't so bad, I'm fed up with these people that I merely wish I could trade them for some more humble, open minded people. I'm not the most humble or open minded, but being around more people of that sort would expose me to such dispositions more and hopefully rub off on me. Right now I'm exposed to stubborness (a trait I'm trying to strike from myself) and trying to rub it off is very difficult when everyone around me is so stubborn.

If only I'd known then what I know now, perhaps I would've chosen some different roads. I would never deny the friends I have, but to have made some more friends with humble qualities would have been very beneficial. Humble people, are you out there? If so, please stand still while I try to come and find you. Yes, I'm more than willing to come to you, I just need something different.

Nonsense


"Everything You Want"

By: Vertical Horizon

Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why

But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return

[Chorus]
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say

[Chorus]

He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

But you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for

Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return

[Chorus]

He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why


I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why


And I don't know why


Why


I don't know

Monday, February 8, 2010

Sartre said Hate, I say Great!

Awhile ago I made mention of the philosopher Sartre and his philosophy that people make other people miserable. At a point I nearly agreed, but as of right now I must say that I completely disagree. Write me up for arguing with a renowned mind, but it's not to say that I don't appreciate that he said what he said. In fact, I appreciate it very much.

The world is full of people, and we do many different things. One nature of humans is to try and categorize things. This has led us to racial and ethnic lines that divide people and even pit them against each other, obviously not the best choice, and so we're trying now to erase those lines and refer to everyone as just people. As horrific as it might sound, I believe that is a terrible idea. Everyone in the world is a different person, and so the dividing lines shouldn't be drawn by race/ethnicity/gender/etc. but rather everyone should be considered their own distinct individual. That, in my opinion, is what has made the world so magnificent. WE'RE ALL DIFFERENT! Isn't that just amazing?

In the entire worth, while many of us may and can be similar in many ways, we are different and distinct individuals. I love being able to interact with so many people and knowing that each one has some sort of new insight to offer. As such you get to expand your horizons each time you listen to people. My dream is to expand my horizons as far as I possibly can. I may not believe the same way as others, and I may not sway my mind to fully accept other ideas, but to know them is a pleasure for me. There is, however, one problem. The ideas of the world seem to accept one ideal individual, and so many people try and become that ideal individual rather than staying true to themselves.

There's a reason this is problematic, ideal individuals do nothing for society. Perfect individuals do nothing for society. I'm going to try and utilize this in as respectful of a manner as I can, but there was one perfect individual upon the earth, and, well, society crucified him. He was a man that was perfect and sought to perfect others as well, but when one man rises above society in such a way, even his presence can be taken as condemnation by them and when people don't like something, they seek to remove it from their lives. When a society doesn't like something, they seek to destroy it.

When we try to perfect ourselves, that's a great notion, but the better one would be individuals seeking to perfect society. For this to ever happen, we need to be more open to every single ideal and consider every possibility in order to know what will work and what will not. It's not fair for me to say that people should actively be seeking out other views like me, but what can it hurt? You're not being asked to change your ideas, just to learn the ideas of others so that you can interact with them. I think a place where people did this, actively sought to understand and accept one another in spite of their differences, that would be the ideal society. A perfect society it may not be, but it would certainly be better than the one that we are in now.

On to the point, Sartre, you were a great mind but I must disagree. You were right when you said that people need people, and I firmly believe that, but to say that people make people miserable is a grave mistake. It is true that some people are unable to maintain control of their own actions or lack conscience and therefore do harm others, but misery and happiness are two things that do not coincide, not at the same time. When we're miserable it eats away all happiness, and when we're happy it ebbs the misery away. Therefore, you cannot declare people make other people miserable without also acknowledging to great extent that people therefore make other people happy. Opposites exist hand in hand, and I must say that there is no substance in this world that has been able to make me happier than my fellow human beings.

That's my philosophy
.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Two Sides of the Same Coin

There is No Victory without Defeat



My best friend once posed that very statement and dared anyone to challenge it. I tried and I tried but I couldn't overrule the fact that there are opposites in this world and one would not exist without the other. Men would not exist without women (though sometimes the idea of not having to deal with them is tempting) and happiness could not exist without misery. The idea that most everything exists in pairs is sometimes hard to buy, especially when one can so fiercely overshadow the other.


Misery can overshadow happiness to such an extent that we may question whether happiness may even exist at all. Surely these things cannot be in relation, but how could they not be? Is it possible to feel happy when you are miserable? I'd wager it's impossible. It's difficult to think about these things, because I want to be happy and focus myself on being happy, but in dreaming of a bright future I cannot deny that opposites do exist. Happiness and misery, good and bad, fortune and misfortune. At the flip of a coin the tide can change and the other can rear its face.


I'm not afraid of the future to say, but afraid of the pathway it will take to get to that point. Will I be vigilant in the things I ought to be vigilant in? Will I do the right thing at the right time, or will I be too late? My hopes for the future are bright and brilliant, but I must accept that along with the victories that I hope to achieve, there will be defeat. My victory will mean the defeat of others, my defeat will mean that I have been triumphed over others. It's such a terrible thing to think that one person's happiness is the cause of another's misery, and part of me hopes that Dakota was wrong when he made that claim that there is no victory without defeat. Still, I hold them as words spoken by a wise man and a good friend, and I hope that my being wary of them will help me to shape the future into a more desirable pose.


These opposites exist, but we can control which way the coin lands to the best of our efforts. True, the rest is left up to a higher power, but I will seek each day to make the coin land on the right side, whichever that may be. There may be times I am required to sacrifice my happiness and accept misery for the sake of another, and I will relish these chances. My hopes have always been to be the best man that I can be, and this week especially I have set my foot forward in hopes to realize this goal. It scares me, but they are changes that will benefit me in the long run. Although altering ourselves is never the most pleasant process, I will look forward with grateful eyes to the man that I can be.


I hope by all standards to be considered decent enough of a man as is, and I could do well staying the way I am, but as always I'm longing to be more. I want to be the best, and I will not stop until I have achieved the best man that I can possibly be. It's a goal that I will, essentially, never meet because there is always room to be better. The fact that nobody is perfect defines that the room to grow will never end, there will always be more to learn. But this is what I want in life, to see just how close I can get to that untouchable marker. I have the right friends and family for it, that is for sure, now it only requires my determination and will power to achieve the rest, as well as the humility to ask for help when I so need it. This, I plan to do, without fail. Starting today, it's a step towards the ultimate Victory, the one in which only Satan will be left with Defeat.

28 Days

February is here, the shortest month of the year. I don't know exactly what to write, because I haven't thought of much to right for a few days. I wrote my short story and finished it, and I'm planning on sending it into a little competition by next week. There's a good feeling about writing a good story, but the feeling becomes hollow when there aren't more stories to follow. Three days into February and my mind is drawing a blank. So, I'm setting the goal to write another short story by the end of the month. The countdown starts now.